As You Like It, Act 5, Scene 4

Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy Can do all this that he hath promised?

Do you believe, Orlando, that the boy can do everything he has promised?

I sometimes do believe and sometimes do not, As those that fear they hope, and know they fear.

Sometimes I believe it and sometimes I don't, like people who are afraid of what they hope for, and know they are afraid.

Patience once more whiles our compact is urged. [To the Duke.] You say, if I bring in your Rosalind, You will bestow her on Orlando here?

A little more patience while our agreement is gone over. [To the Duke.] You say that if I bring in your Rosalind, you will give her to Orlando here?

That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.

I would, even if I had kingdoms to give along with her.

[To Orlando.] And you say you will have her when I bring her?

[To Orlando.] And you say you will take her when I bring her?

That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.

I would, even if I were king of all kingdoms.

[To Phoebe.] You say you’ll marry me if I be willing?

[To Phoebe.] You say you'll marry me if I am willing?

That will I, should I die the hour after.

I will, even if I died an hour later.

But if you do refuse to marry me, You’ll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?

But if you do refuse to marry me, you'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?

So is the bargain.

That's the bargain.

[To Silvius.] You say that you’ll have Phoebe if she will?

[To Silvius.] You say that you'll take Phoebe if she is willing?

Though to have her and death were both one thing.

Even if having her and dying were the same thing.

I have promised to make all this matter even. Keep you your word, O Duke, to give your daughter, You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter. Keep your word, Phoebe, that you’ll marry me, Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd. Keep your word, Silvius, that you’ll marry her If she refuse me. And from hence I go To make these doubts all even.

I have promised to settle all this business. Keep your word, Duke, to give your daughter; and you keep yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter. Keep your word, Phoebe, that you'll marry me, or, if you refuse me, that you'll marry this shepherd. Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her if she refuses me. And now I go from here to settle all these uncertainties.

I do remember in this shepherd boy Some lively touches of my daughter’s favour.

I recall seeing in this shepherd boy some vivid traces of my daughter's face.

My lord, the first time that I ever saw him Methought he was a brother to your daughter. But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born And hath been tutored in the rudiments Of many desperate studies by his uncle, Whom he reports to be a great magician, Obscured in the circle of this forest.

My lord, the first time I ever saw him I thought he was a brother of your daughter. But, my good lord, this boy was born in the forest, and he has been taught the first principles of many dangerous studies by his uncle, whom he says is a great magician, hidden away within the circle of this forest.

There is sure another flood toward, and these couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools.

There's certainly another flood on the way, and these couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of very strange animals, which in every language are called fools.

Salutation and greeting to you all.

Salutations and greetings to you all.

Good my lord, bid him welcome. This is the motley-minded gentleman that I have so often met in the forest. He hath been a courtier, he swears.

My good lord, make him welcome. This is the patchwork-minded gentleman I have met so often in the forest. He has been a courtier, he swears.

If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I have trod a measure; I have flattered a lady; I have been politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one.

If anyone doubts that, let him put me to the test. I have danced a formal dance; I have flattered a lady; I have been crafty with my friend and smooth with my enemy; I have ruined three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and nearly fought one.

And how was that ta’en up?

And how was that one settled?

Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause.

Well, we met, and found the quarrel was on the seventh cause.

How seventh cause?—Good my lord, like this fellow?

How, the seventh cause?—My good lord, do you like this fellow?

I like him very well.

I like him very much.

God ’ild you, sir, I desire you of the like. I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear and to forswear according as marriage binds and blood breaks. A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favoured thing, sir, but mine own; a poor humour of mine, sir, to take that that no man else will. Rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor house, as your pearl in your foul oyster.

God reward you, sir; I wish the same for you. I push in here, sir, among the rest of these country couples, to swear and to break my oath as marriage binds and desire breaks. A poor virgin, sir, an ugly thing, sir, but my own; a poor whim of mine, sir, to take what no other man will have. Rich honesty lives like a miser, sir, in a poor house, like a pearl in a filthy oyster.

By my faith, he is very swift and sententious.

By my faith, he is very quick and full of wise sayings.

According to the fool’s bolt, sir, and such dulcet diseases.

Just as the fool's arrow flies, sir, and such sweet ailments.

But, for the seventh cause. How did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause?

But about the seventh cause. How did you find the quarrel to be on the seventh cause?

Upon a lie seven times removed—bear your body more seeming, Audrey—as thus, sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier’s beard. He sent me word if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was. This is called the “retort courteous”. If I sent him word again it was not well cut, he would send me word he cut it to please himself. This is called the “quip modest”. If again it was not well cut, he disabled my judgement. This is called the “reply churlish”. If again it was not well cut, he would answer I spake not true. This is called the “reproof valiant”. If again it was not well cut, he would say I lie. This is called the “countercheck quarrelsome”, and so, to the “lie circumstantial”, and the “lie direct”.

It was over a lie seven times removed—hold yourself more properly, Audrey—like this, sir. I found fault with the trim of a certain courtier's beard. He sent me word that if I said his beard was not well cut, he was of the opinion that it was. This is called the "retort courteous". If I sent him word again that it was not well cut, he would send me word that he cut it to please himself. This is called the "quip modest". If again I said it was not well cut, he questioned my judgement. This is called the "reply churlish". If again it was not well cut, he would answer that I did not speak the truth. This is called the "reproof valiant". If again it was not well cut, he would say I lie. This is called the "countercheck quarrelsome", and so on, to the "lie circumstantial" and the "lie direct".

And how oft did you say his beard was not well cut?

And how many times did you say his beard was not well cut?

I durst go no further than the lie circumstantial, nor he durst not give me the lie direct; and so we measured swords and parted.

I dared go no further than the lie circumstantial, and he dared not give me the lie direct; and so we measured our swords and parted.

Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie?

Can you now name the degrees of the lie in order?

O sir, we quarrel in print, by the book, as you have books for good manners. I will name you the degrees: the first, the retort courteous; the second, the quip modest; the third, the reply churlish; the fourth, the reproof valiant; the fifth, the countercheck quarrelsome; the sixth, the lie with circumstance; the seventh, the lie direct. All these you may avoid but the lie direct and you may avoid that too with an “if”. I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel, but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an “if”, as, “if you said so, then I said so;” and they shook hands, and swore brothers. Your “if” is the only peacemaker; much virtue in “if.”

Oh sir, we quarrel by the printed rules, by the book, just as you have books of good manners. I'll name you the degrees: the first, the retort courteous; the second, the quip modest; the third, the reply churlish; the fourth, the reproof valiant; the fifth, the countercheck quarrelsome; the sixth, the lie with circumstance; the seventh, the lie direct. All of these you can avoid except the lie direct, and you can avoid that too with an "if". I have known a time when seven judges could not settle a quarrel, but when the parties met by themselves, one of them only thought of an "if", as in, "if you said so, then I said so;" and they shook hands and swore to be brothers. Your "if" is the only peacemaker; there's great power in "if."

Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? He’s as good at anything, and yet a fool.

Isn't this a remarkable fellow, my lord? He's as good at anything, and yet he's a fool.

He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under the presentation of that he shoots his wit.

He uses his foolishness like a stalking-horse, and under cover of it he shoots his wit.

Then is there mirth in heaven When earthly things made even Atone together. Good Duke, receive thy daughter. Hymen from heaven brought her, Yea, brought her hither, That thou mightst join her hand with his, Whose heart within his bosom is.

There is joy in heaven when earthly things are set right and are reconciled together. Good Duke, receive your daughter. Hymen brought her from heaven, yes, brought her here, so that you might join her hand with the hand of him whose heart is in her breast.

[To Duke Senior.] To you I give myself, for I am yours. [To Orlando.] To you I give myself, for I am yours.

[To Duke Senior.] I give myself to you, for I am yours. [To Orlando.] I give myself to you, for I am yours.

If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.

If there is any truth in what I see, you are my daughter.

If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.

If there is any truth in what I see, you are my Rosalind.

If sight and shape be true, Why then, my love adieu.

If what I see and this shape are real, then goodbye, my love.

[To Duke Senior.] I’ll have no father, if you be not he. [To Orlando.] I’ll have no husband, if you be not he. [To Phoebe.] Nor ne’er wed woman, if you be not she.

[To Duke Senior.] I'll have no father, if you are not he. [To Orlando.] I'll have no husband, if you are not he. [To Phoebe.] And I'll never marry a woman, if you are not she.

Peace, ho! I bar confusion. ’Tis I must make conclusion Of these most strange events. Here’s eight that must take hands To join in Hymen’s bands, If truth holds true contents. [To Orlando and Rosalind.] You and you no cross shall part. [To Celia and Oliver.] You and you are heart in heart. [To Phoebe.] You to his love must accord Or have a woman to your lord. [To Audrey and Touchstone.] You and you are sure together As the winter to foul weather. Whiles a wedlock hymn we sing, Feed yourselves with questioning, That reason wonder may diminish How thus we met, and these things finish.

Quiet, there! I forbid all this confusion. It is I who must bring these very strange events to a conclusion. Here are eight who must join hands in Hymen's bonds, if truth tells the truth. [To Orlando and Rosalind.] Nothing shall come between you two and part you. [To Celia and Oliver.] You two are heart to heart. [To Phoebe.] You must agree to his love, or else take a woman for your husband. [To Audrey and Touchstone.] You two are as certainly joined together as winter is to bad weather. While we sing a wedding hymn, satisfy yourselves with asking questions, so that understanding may lessen your amazement at how we came together like this and how these matters are concluded.

Wedding is great Juno’s crown, O blessed bond of board and bed. ’Tis Hymen peoples every town, High wedlock then be honoured. Honour, high honour, and renown To Hymen, god of every town.

Marriage is great Juno's crown, oh blessed bond of table and bed. It is Hymen who fills every town with people, so let high marriage be honoured. Honour, high honour, and fame to Hymen, god of every town.

O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me Even daughter, welcome in no less degree.

Oh my dear niece, you are welcome to me, welcome just as much as a daughter.

[To Silvius.] I will not eat my word, now thou art mine, Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine.

[To Silvius.] I will not take back my word, now that you are mine; your faithfulness joins my love to you.

Let me have audience for a word or two. I am the second son of old Sir Rowland, That bring these tidings to this fair assembly. Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day Men of great worth resorted to this forest, Addressed a mighty power, which were on foot In his own conduct, purposely to take His brother here and put him to the sword; And to the skirts of this wild wood he came, Where, meeting with an old religious man, After some question with him, was converted Both from his enterprise and from the world, His crown bequeathing to his banished brother, And all their lands restored to them again That were with him exiled. This to be true I do engage my life.

Let me be heard for a word or two. I am the second son of old Sir Rowland, and I bring this news to this fine gathering. Duke Frederick, hearing how every day men of great worth were coming to this forest, raised a large army, which set out under his own command, with the purpose of seizing his brother here and putting him to the sword; and he came to the outskirts of this wild wood, where, meeting an old religious man, after some conversation with him, he was turned away both from his undertaking and from the world. He has left his crown to his banished brother, and all their lands are restored to those who were exiled with him. That this is true I stake my life on.

Welcome, young man. Thou offer’st fairly to thy brother’s wedding: To one his lands withheld, and to the other A land itself at large, a potent dukedom. First, in this forest let us do those ends That here were well begun and well begot; And after, every of this happy number That have endured shrewd days and nights with us Shall share the good of our returned fortune, According to the measure of their states. Meantime, forget this new-fall’n dignity, And fall into our rustic revelry. Play, music! And you brides and bridegrooms all, With measure heaped in joy to th’ measures fall.

Welcome, young man. You bring a fine offering to your brother's wedding: to one, the lands that were kept from him, and to the other, a whole country, a powerful dukedom. First, in this forest let us finish those purposes that were well begun and well conceived here; and afterwards, every one of this happy company who has endured harsh days and nights with us shall share in the good of our restored fortune, each according to his rank. In the meantime, let us forget this newly arrived greatness and throw ourselves into our country merrymaking. Play, music! And all you brides and bridegrooms, with joy piled high, fall in with the dance.

Sir, by your patience. If I heard you rightly, The Duke hath put on a religious life And thrown into neglect the pompous court.

Sir, by your leave. If I heard you correctly, the Duke has taken up a religious life and abandoned the splendid court.

He hath.

He has.

To him will I. Out of these convertites There is much matter to be heard and learned. [To Duke Senior.] You to your former honour I bequeath; Your patience and your virtue well deserves it. [To Orlando.] You to a love that your true faith doth merit. [To Oliver.] You to your land, and love, and great allies. [To Silvius.] You to a long and well-deserved bed. [To Touchstone.] And you to wrangling, for thy loving voyage Is but for two months victualled.—So to your pleasures, I am for other than for dancing measures.

I'll go to him. From these converts there is much to be heard and learned. [To Duke Senior.] I leave you to your former honour; your patience and your virtue well deserve it. [To Orlando.] You to a love that your true faithfulness deserves. [To Oliver.] You to your land, and love, and powerful connections. [To Silvius.] You to a long and well-earned marriage bed. [To Touchstone.] And you to squabbling, for your loving voyage is only stocked with supplies for two months.—So go to your pleasures; I am made for something other than dancing.

Stay, Jaques, stay.

Stay, Jaques, stay.

To see no pastime, I. What you would have I’ll stay to know at your abandoned cave.

I'm not here to watch entertainments. Whatever you want to say, I'll wait to hear at the cave you have left.

Proceed, proceed! We will begin these rites, As we do trust they’ll end, in true delights.

Go on, go on! We will begin these ceremonies as we trust they will end, in true delight.