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Storgy

Much Ado About NothingModern English

Much Ado About Nothing, Act 1, Scene 3

Another room in Leonato’s house.

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  1. Enter Don John and Conrade.

    Don John and Conrade come in.

  2. Conrade1

    What the good-year, my lord! why are you thus out of measure sad?

    What on earth, my lord! Why are you so immeasurably sad?

  3. Don John2

    There is no measure in the occasion that breeds; therefore the sadness is without limit.

    There is no measure in the cause that produces it; so the sadness has no limit.

  4. Conrade4

    You should hear reason.

    You ought to listen to reason.

  5. Don John5

    And when I have heard it, what blessings brings it?

    And once I have listened to it, what blessings does it bring?

  6. Conrade6

    If not a present remedy, at least a patient sufferance.

    If not an immediate cure, at least the patience to bear it.

  7. Don John7

    I wonder that thou (being as thou say’st thou art, born under Saturn) goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide what I am: I must be sad when I have cause, and smile at no man’s jests; eat when I have stomach, and wait for no man’s leisure; sleep when I am drowsy, and tend on no man’s business; laugh when I am merry, and claw no man in his humour.

    I'm amazed that you—being, as you say you are, born under Saturn—try to apply a moral medicine to a deadly disease. I can't hide what I am: I must be sad when I have reason to be, and laugh at nobody's jokes; eat when I'm hungry, and wait for nobody's convenience; sleep when I'm drowsy, and attend to nobody's business; laugh when I'm cheerful, and flatter nobody in his mood.

  8. Conrade13

    Yea; but you must not make the full show of this till you may do it without controlment. You have of late stood out against your brother, and he hath ta’en you newly into his grace; where it is impossible you should take true root but by the fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful that you frame the season for your own harvest.

    Yes, but you mustn't display all of this openly until you can do it without being held in check. You recently took up arms against your brother, and he has just taken you back into his favour; there it's impossible for you to take real root except by the fine weather you make for yourself. You need to arrange the season for your own harvest.

  9. Don John18

    I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in his grace; and it better fits my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meantime, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me.

    I would rather be a wild rose in a hedge than a garden rose in his favour; and it suits my nature better to be scorned by everyone than to put on a manner that steals love from anybody. In this, though I can't be called a flattering honest man, nobody can deny that I'm an honest villain. I'm trusted with a muzzle on and set free with a weight chained to me; so I have decided not to sing in my cage. If my mouth were free, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do as I please. In the meantime, let me be what I am, and don't try to change me.

  10. Conrade26

    Can you make no use of your discontent?

    Can't you make any use of your discontent?

  11. Don John27

    I make all use of it, for I use it only. Who comes here?

    I make every use of it, since I use nothing else. Who's coming here?

  12. Enter Borachio.

    Borachio comes in.

  13. Don John28

    What news, Borachio?

    What news, Borachio?

  14. Borachio29

    I came yonder from a great supper: the Prince your brother is royally entertained by Leonato; and I can give you intelligence of an intended marriage.

    I've just come from a great supper over there. The Prince, your brother, is being royally entertained by Leonato, and I can give you information about a marriage that's planned.

  15. Don John32

    Will it serve for any model to build mischief on? What is he for a fool that betroths himself to unquietness?

    Will it do as any foundation to build trouble on? What kind of fool is it who engages himself to restlessness?

  16. Borachio34

    Marry, it is your brother’s right hand.

    Well, it's your brother's right-hand man.

  17. Don John35

    Who? the most exquisite Claudio?

    Who? The most exquisite Claudio?

  18. Borachio36

    Even he.

    He's the one.

  19. Don John37

    A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks he?

    A fine gentleman! And who's the other, who? Which way is he looking?

  20. Borachio38

    Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.

    Why, at Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.

  21. Don John39

    A very forward March-chick! How came you to this?

    A very precocious March chick! How did you find this out?

  22. Borachio40

    Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a musty room, comes me the Prince and Claudio, hand in hand, in sad conference: I whipt me behind the arras, and there heard it agreed upon that the Prince should woo Hero for himself, and having obtained her, give her to Count Claudio.

    I was hired as a perfumer, and while I was fumigating a musty room, along come the Prince and Claudio, hand in hand, in serious conversation. I slipped behind the tapestry, and there I heard them agree that the Prince should court Hero for himself, and once he had won her, give her to Count Claudio.

  23. Don John44

    Come, come; let us thither: this may prove food to my displeasure. That young start-up hath all the glory of my overthrow: if I can cross him any way, I bless myself every way. You are both sure, and will assist me?

    Come on, come on, let's go there. This may turn out to be food for my resentment. That young upstart gets all the glory for my defeat. If I can thwart him in any way, I count myself blessed in every way. You are both reliable, and will help me?

  24. Conrade48

    To the death, my lord.

    To the death, my lord.

  25. Don John49

    Let us to the great supper: their cheer is the greater that I am subdued. Would the cook were of my mind! Shall we go to prove what’s to be done?

    Let's go to the great supper. Their good cheer is all the greater because I have been beaten down. I wish the cook shared my mind! Shall we go and find out what can be done?

  26. Borachio52

    We’ll wait upon your Lordship.

    We'll follow your Lordship.

  27. Exeunt.

    They all leave.

Original text: Project Gutenberg edition #1519 (public domain, edited by the PG Shakespeare Team). Modern English rendering by Storgy.