Before You Were Mine

Voice and Perspective: The speaker directly addresses her mother, envisioning her life before she became a parent. How does this second-person address influence the emotional tone of the poem? What impact does it have on the reader?

Time and Identity: Duffy contrasts her mother's carefree, youthful self with her later responsibilities as a parent. How does the poem imply that motherhood changed — or even diminished — aspects of her mother's identity?

Imagery and Memory: The poem relies on imagined memories instead of actual experiences. What does it mean to "remember" something you never lived through? How does Duffy use imagery (like the polka-dot dress and Marilyn Monroe) to vividly portray her mother's past?

Possession and Love: The title Before You Were Mine suggests a sense of ownership. Is this possessiveness depicted as affectionate, selfish, or something more complex? How does the poem challenge or complicate conventional notions of the parent-child relationship?

Loss and Nostalgia: In what ways does this poem address themes of grief or loss, even though no one has passed away? What has been lost, and who feels that loss?

Cultural and Historical Context: References to Marilyn Monroe and the 1950s/60s setting evoke a particular time period. How does this cultural context enrich the poem's themes of freedom, femininity, and limitation?

Voice and Perspective: The speaker talks to her mother as if she is addressing her younger self. How does this direct address in the second person influence your interpretation of the poem? What kind of intimacy or distance does it create?

Imagination and Memory: The speaker imagines a version of her mother's life before she (the speaker) was born—a life she never experienced. How trustworthy or valid do you think this imagined portrayal is? What does it reveal about the speaker's wishes and needs?

Loss and Sacrifice: The poem suggests that motherhood required the mother to give something up. What do you think was sacrificed, and how does Duffy convey that sense of loss through imagery and language?

Guilt and Longing: Some readers notice a hint of guilt in the speaker's tone. Do you see it that way? What evidence in the poem supports or complicates this interpretation?

Time: The poem shifts between past and present in distinctive ways. How does Duffy play with time, and what effect does this have on the poem's emotional resonance?

The Title: The phrase "before you were mine" flips the usual parent–child dynamic. What does this reversal imply about how the speaker perceives her relationship with her mother?