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The Virgin Mother by D. H. Lawrence

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A son stands at his mother's deathbed, saying goodbye while grappling with grief and an unexpected sense of freedom.

Poet
D. H. Lawrence
Core theme
Death
The PoemFull text

The Virgin Mother

D. H. Lawrence

MY little love, my darling, You were a doorway to me; You let me out of the confines Into this strange countrie, Where people are crowded like thistles, Yet are shapely and comely to see. My little love, my dearest Twice have you issued me, Once from your womb, sweet mother, Once from myself, to be Free of all hearts, my darling, Of each heart's home-life free. And so, my love, my mother, I shall always be true to you; Twice I am born, my dearest, To life, and to death, in you; And this is the life hereafter Wherein I am true. I kiss you good-bye, my darling, Our ways are different now; You are a seed in the night-time, I am a man, to plough The difficult glebe of the future For God to endow. I kiss you good-bye, my dearest, It is finished between us here. Oh, if I were calm as you are, Sweet and still on your bier! God, if I had not to leave you Alone, my dear! Let the last word be uttered, Oh grant the farewell is said! Spare me the strength to leave you Now you are dead. I must go, but my soul lies helpless Beside your bed.

Public domain

Sourced from Project Gutenberg

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§01Quick summary

What this poem is about

A son stands at his mother's deathbed, saying goodbye while grappling with grief and an unexpected sense of freedom. He reflects on how she gave him life in two ways — first through birth and then by allowing him to become his own person — and now her death brings a third, painful separation. The poem candidly explores how love and loss can feel intertwined.

§02Themes

Recurring themes

§03Line by line

Stanza by stanza, with notes

  1. MY little love, my darling, / You were a doorway to me;

    Editor's note

    Lawrence begins by referring to his mother as both beloved and a threshold. The term **doorway** carries significant weight: she didn't merely give birth to him; she was the passage through which he entered the world and, eventually, into his own adult life. The tone is affectionate yet tinged with nostalgia, suggesting that the door is now starting to close.

  2. My little love, my dearest / Twice have you issued me,

    Editor's note

    He identifies two births: the physical birth from her womb and a second, psychological birth — the moment he emotionally distanced himself from her and became his own person. The phrase *free of all hearts* suggests liberation, yet it also conveys a sense of quiet loneliness. Being free from the comforts of every heart’s home means not truly belonging anywhere.

  3. And so, my love, my mother, / I shall always be true to you;

    Editor's note

    He pledges loyalty while recognizing the space that exists between them. The paradox is striking: he was born into both life *and* death through her, making her the source of both his existence and his understanding of mortality. The 'life hereafter' he refers to isn't simply a religious concept — it's the continuous life he will lead, influenced by her.

  4. I kiss you good-bye, my darling, / Our ways are different now;

    Editor's note

    The farewell takes shape. He portrays himself as a ploughman tilling *the challenging soil of the future* — glebe refers to farmland, evoking a sense of tough, unglamorous work. She is a seed in the darkness, passive and complete; he has to keep toiling. The contrast is subtle yet striking.

  5. I kiss you good-bye, my dearest, / It is finished between us here.

    Editor's note

    The second goodbye feels more intense than the first. He gazes at her body on the bier and confesses he envies her peacefulness. The exclamation *God, if I didn't have to leave you / Alone, my dear!* turns typical grief on its head: he’s not merely mourning her; he’s tormented by the thought of leaving *her* alone, as if she still requires his protection.

  6. Let the last word be uttered, / Oh grant the farewell is said!

    Editor's note

    The final stanza becomes a plea for the strength to truly walk away. He struggles to find the words to complete the farewell, and he describes his soul as helpless beside her bed. The poem concludes not with closure but with a sense of being stuck — he knows he should leave, yet he can't bring himself to do it. That unresolved tension is where the real sorrow resides.

§04Tone & mood

How this poem feels

The tone shifts from respectful and contemplative in the early stanzas to an almost explosive grief by the end. Lawrence uses straightforward language—no flowery Victorian mourning poetry here—which makes the emotions resonate more deeply. A thread of tenderness runs throughout, but it’s the kind that comes with a price. The closing lines convey a sense of urgency, capturing the voice of someone who understands what needs to be done yet feels unable to take that step just yet.

§05Symbols & metaphors

Symbols & metaphors

The doorway
The mother represents both a literal and symbolic threshold: a gateway into physical life, the broader world, and the speaker's own identity. When she departs, the door shuts.
The seed in the night-time
The dead mother as a seed symbolizes both potential continuity—something buried that might still bear fruit—and a sense of finality and darkness. She remains still, while he must continue to move forward.
The ploughman and the glebe
The speaker, a farmer tilling tough soil, represents the relentless struggle of life without her. The future isn't something handed to us; it's like soil that must be cultivated and broken open.
The bier
The funeral bier anchors the poem in the physical world. This is the point where the elegy becomes concrete — she is a body, he stands beside her, and he must say goodbye.
The two births
Being born twice — first from her womb and then from himself — shapes the mother-son relationship into a series of essential separations. The third and final separation is death, and it's the hardest one.

§06Form & structure

Form & structure

Rhyme
ABABCB ABABCB ABABCB ABABCB ABABCB ABCBDB

§07Historical context

Historical context

Lawrence wrote this poem after the passing of his mother, Lydia Lawrence, in December 1910. She succumbed to cancer, and Lawrence, who shared an unusually deep emotional connection with her, was heartbroken. He later expressed that she was the woman he loved most in his life. This poem is part of a series of early works reflecting on her death, with some elements later reworked into his semi-autobiographical novel *Sons and Lovers* (1913), where the mother-son relationship drives the narrative. At 25, Lawrence was just beginning to find his voice as a writer, and his grief became a significant influence on his art. While the poem aligns with the Georgian poetry tradition through its straightforward language and rural imagery, its emotional openness and the psychological depth of the double-birth concept hint at the distinctive voice Lawrence would develop as a major literary figure of the twentieth century.

§08FAQ

Questions readers ask

What is the poem actually about?

Lawrence stands at his mother's deathbed, saying farewell. The poem captures his grief and the feeling that she brought him to life in two distinct ways — through birth and by helping him achieve emotional independence. It also reflects his struggle to muster the strength to leave her body behind and continue living.

Why does he call her 'my little love' and 'my darling'? Isn't that strange to say to your mother?

It shows the special bond Lawrence shared with his mother, which he often wrote about. The affectionate terms flip the typical parent-child dynamic — he’s comforting her, almost as if he’s protecting her — highlighting that their relationship was rooted in deep mutual love, rather than just a sense of duty.

What does 'twice have you issued me' mean?

He means she gave birth to him twice: once physically, from her womb, and again emotionally, when he became independent and distanced himself from her. The second birth is harder to define, but it's the one that truly shaped him into a complete individual.

What is a 'glebe'?

Glebe is an archaic term for farmland or cultivated soil, typically referring to land belonging to a church. Lawrence uses this imagery to depict his future as a field requiring diligent ploughing — it’s not a promised land, but rather challenging terrain that demands effort.

Is the poem religious?

It employs religious language—such as God, the afterlife, and a prayer-like request for strength—but it stops short of embracing traditional Christian beliefs. The 'afterlife' that Lawrence talks about seems more like his ongoing life influenced by her memory instead of a typical afterlife. God is presented as someone he turns to for help rather than someone he fully believes in.

Why does he envy his mother's stillness on the bier?

Grief can lead the living to envy the dead for their peace. He’s grappling with the tough, heart-wrenching task of moving forward without her, and for a fleeting moment, her serene, completed state seems easier than the struggles he faces. It’s a genuine, unsettling feeling that Lawrence confronts without hesitation.

What does the title 'The Virgin Mother' mean?

It's a layered title. On one level, it resonates with the Virgin Mary, portraying his mother as a sacred and pure figure. On another level, 'virgin' implies someone untouched by the compromises and failures of everyday life — portraying his mother as an ideal. It also subtly positions him as a Christ-like figure, born of a woman who is exceptional, aligning with the poem's theme of a son with a unique connection to his mother.

How does this poem connect to Sons and Lovers?

Sons and Lovers (1913) is Lawrence's autobiographical novel that explores a young man's deep bond with his mother, which influences and complicates his connections with other women. The poem captures similar emotions on a smaller scale: the duality of birth, the goodbye, and the sorrow. Reading both works together reveals how Lawrence continually revisited these themes, exploring them through various forms.

Citation

Cite this poem

MLA

Lawrence, D. H. "The Virgin Mother." Storgy, https://storgy.com/poems/the-virgin-mother-d-h-lawrence/.

APA

Lawrence, D. H. (n.d.). The virgin mother. Storgy. https://storgy.com/poems/the-virgin-mother-d-h-lawrence/

TeacherAP Lit Q1 scaffold — preview

Row A — Thesis

1 pt

In 'The Virgin Mother,' D. H. Lawrence transforms the conventional elegy into a meditation on double birth, arguing that the speaker's liberation from his mother — first into the world, then into full selfhood — is inextricable from her …

  • Row B — Evidence + Commentary4 pts
  • Row C — Sophistication1 pt
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