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The Man Who Discovered the Use of a Chair by Alfred Noyes

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A man is eager for fame and recognition, but no one seems to notice him—until he throws a chair at the Lord Mayor during an upscale dinner.

Poet
Alfred Noyes
Composed
1922 · Modernist
Core theme
Art
The PoemFull text

The Man Who Discovered the Use of a Chair

Alfred Noyes, 1922

_Odds--bobs-- What a wonderful man!_ He used to sit down on it, tearing his hair, Till he thought of a highly original plan. For years he had sat on his chair, like you, _Quite--still! But his looks were grim_ For he wished to be famous (as great men do) And nobody ever would listen to him. Now he went one night to a dinner of state _Hear! hear! In the proud Guildhall!_ And he sat on his chair, and he ate from a plate; But nobody heard his opinions at all; There were ten fat aldermen down for a speech (_Grouse! Grouse! What a dreary bird!_) With five fair minutes allotted to each, But never a moment for him to be heard. But, each being ready to talk, I suppose, _Order! Order!_ They cried, _for the Chair!_ And, much to their wonder, our friend arose And fastened his eye on the eye of the Mayor. "We have come," he said, "to the fourteenth course! "_High--time, for the Chair_," he said. Then, with both of his hands, and with all of his force, He hurled his chair at the Lord Mayor's head. It missed that head by the width of a hair. _Gee--whizz! What a horrible squeak!_ But it crashed through the big bay-window there And smashed a bus into Wednesday week. And the very next day, in the decorous Times (_Great--Guns-- How the headlines ran!_) In spite of the kings and the wars and the crimes, There were five full columns about that man.

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§01Quick summary

What this poem is about

A man is eager for fame and recognition, but no one seems to notice him—until he throws a chair at the Lord Mayor during an upscale dinner. The chair misses and crashes through a window, but the next day, he finds himself featured in five full columns of the newspaper. It's a clever, humorous commentary on how the media and the public overlook rational voices while they get excited about outrageous antics.

§02Themes

Recurring themes

§03Line by line

Stanza by stanza, with notes

  1. He used to sit down on it, tearing his hair, / Till he thought of a highly original plan.

    Editor's note

    We meet our unnamed hero: a man so fed up with being unnoticed that he’s literally pulling his hair out while sitting in the very chair that will make him famous. The word "original" is already giving us a knowing smile — his plan is anything but clever.

  2. For years he had sat on his chair, like you, / _Quite--still!_

    Editor's note

    Noyes draws the reader in with "like you" — we all sit on chairs, we all go unnoticed. The italicized stage direction (_Quite--still!_) echoes a music-hall compère or a pantomime narrator, establishing the poem's humorous theatrical rhythm. The man's grimness reveals how genuine ambition can decay into bitterness.

  3. Now he went one night to a dinner of state / _Hear! hear! / In the proud Guildhall!_

    Editor's note

    The scene shifts to a grand civic banquet — just the sort of place where Important People give Important Speeches. The crowd noise (_Hear! hear!_) is laced with irony: no one is actually listening to our man. The Guildhall backdrop grounds the satire in familiar British pomp.

  4. There were ten fat aldermen down for a speech / (_Grouse! Grouse! / What a dreary bird!_)

    Editor's note

    Ten aldermen with five minutes each adds up to fifty minutes of official chatter before our guy gets a moment to speak. The parenthetical _Grouse! Grouse!_ serves a dual purpose: it captures the crowd's grumbling and pokes fun at grouse—the game bird often seen at fancy dinners—symbolizing the tedious rituals of the establishment.

  5. But, each being ready to talk, I suppose, / _Order! Order!_ / They cried, _for the Chair!_

    Editor's note

    "Calling for the Chair" refers to a common parliamentary procedure where you ask the chairperson to bring back order. Noyes cleverly crafts a pun in this moment: the crowd is addressing the chairman, but our protagonist interprets it as a literal invitation. This moment serves as the pivotal point around which the entire poem revolves.

  6. "We have come," he said, "to the fourteenth course! / _High--time, / for the Chair_," he said.

    Editor's note

    The man responds to the cry in the room with a deadpan expression, as if he’s just going along with everyone else. Being fourteen courses into a Victorian banquet is inherently amusing—the place feels overstuffed, sluggish, and overly pleased with itself. His relaxed tone before the chaos adds to the humor of the situation.

  7. Then, with both of his hands, and with all of his force, / He hurled his chair at the Lord Mayor's head.

    Editor's note

    The payoff. After several stanzas of build-up, the action hits in one clear, physical line. "Both of his hands" and "all of his force" create a vivid, theatrical image—you can easily visualize it. Aiming at the Lord Mayor, the most ceremonially significant figure in the room, is the perfect climax of the joke.

  8. It missed that head by the width of a hair. / _Gee--whizz! / What a horrible squeak!_

    Editor's note

    The near-miss is important: no one gets hurt, so we can laugh without worry. Instead, the chair goes crashing through a bay window and — in a wonderfully absurd twist — "smashed a bus into Wednesday week." Time itself is thrown into chaos. Noyes has fully embraced nonsense, channeling Edward Lear more than political satire.

  9. And the very next day, in the decorous Times / (_Great--Guns-- / How the headlines ran!_)

    Editor's note

    The punchline hits home here. Even with kings, wars, and crimes vying for attention, the chair-thrower gets five full columns. The word "decorous" stands out as the most incisive in the poem — the Times prides itself on its dignity, yet it features a man who threw furniture on its front page. The satire about media priorities feels just as relevant today as it did back in Noyes's time.

§04Tone & mood

How this poem feels

The tone is playfully satirical and reminiscent of a music-hall comic. Noyes maintains a straight face while recounting increasingly absurd events, which is what makes it so humorous. The italicized crowd-noise lines function like a live audience reacting in a theater, adding a performance quality to the poem. Beneath the absurdity, there's a genuine sense of frustration—his desire to be heard feels sincere, even if his solution is utterly ridiculous.

§05Symbols & metaphors

Symbols & metaphors

The chair
The chair operates on two levels at the same time. On one hand, it symbolizes the everyday, the mundane — something everyone uses without a second thought. On the other hand, as a parliamentary term — "the Chair" — it signifies institutional power and the regulations that silence certain voices. Throwing the actual chair at the figurehead attacks both meanings simultaneously.
The Lord Mayor
The Lord Mayor represents the civic establishment — ceremonial, self-important, and completely indifferent to our man's views. He isn't a villain; he's just a target. That's the point: the system doesn't require villains to silence individuals; it merely needs enough aldermen to take five minutes each.
The five columns in the Times
The newspaper coverage serves as the poem's most ominous symbol. The man gains fame at last, but it comes not from his views — rather, it's solely due to property damage and spectacle. Noyes suggests that public attention favors noise over substance and chaos over genuine thought.
The fourteen-course dinner
The banquet's length reflects the inflated, self-satisfied nature of the establishment. By the fourteenth course, the room is overcrowded, overly comfortable, and too pleased with itself to welcome an outsider's voice.
Wednesday week
The bus being smashed "into Wednesday week" is a funny bit of absurdity that shows Noyes embracing the ridiculous. It also hints that this man's action has thrown off the usual flow of time and daily life — a quirky, lighthearted take on a revolutionary act.

§06Form & structure

Form & structure

Meter
free verse
Rhyme
ABAB CDCD EFEF GHGH IJIJ KLKL MNMN OPOP

§07Historical context

Historical context

Alfred Noyes penned this poem in the early twentieth century, a time when British public life was bustling with civic banquets, aldermanic speeches, and a press quickly figuring out how to grab attention through sensationalism. The Guildhall dinners he satirizes were genuine institutions—formal, hierarchical, and mostly exclusive to the establishment's insiders. Noyes was a well-liked and commercially successful poet who often found himself at odds with the literary avant-garde of his time, so there's likely a personal touch in the depiction of a man eager to be heard. The poem's music-hall structure—with its italicized crowd interjections and catchy rhymes—anchors it in a lineage of comic verse performance that spans from W. S. Gilbert to Ogden Nash. It feels like something intended to be recited in front of a chuckling audience.

§08FAQ

Questions readers ask

What is the poem actually about?

A man seeking fame and respect struggles to get anyone to pay attention to him. During an extravagant civic dinner, he loses his temper, throws his chair at the Lord Mayor, and wakes up the next day to see himself splashed across the front page. The poem humorously critiques how public attention operates: disregarding meaningful ideas while celebrating the sensational.

What does "calling for the Chair" mean, and why is it funny here?

In British parliamentary and civic procedure, "calling for the Chair" refers to asking the chairperson — the individual leading the meeting — to bring back order. Our character hears this phrase and interprets it literally, thinking he needs to get a chair. He "agrees" with the crowd and then hurls his own chair at the most prominent person in the room. The entire poem revolves around that single pun.

What is the poem's form and structure?

Each stanza features a lively quatrain following an ABAB rhyme scheme, with a three-line italicized section that replicates the voice of a crowd or a music-hall compère. The rhythm is loose and energetic, perfect for reading aloud. The italicized lines serve as stage directions as much as they are poetry—they convey the audience's reactions.

Is there a serious point underneath all the comedy?

Yes. Noyes is pointing out something real about media and public life: someone with honest opinions often gets overlooked, but as soon as they do something outrageous or destructive, they suddenly become headline news in a national publication. That dynamic is just as true today. The humor serves as a way to convey a rather cynical message.

What does "smashed a bus into Wednesday week" mean?

It's intentional nonsense. "Wednesday week" refers to a week from Wednesday — a standard British time expression — but using it in the context of a bus crash is ridiculous. Noyes is pushing the chaos beyond realistic limits for comedic effect, indicating that we've entered the realm of nonsense verse rather than straightforward satire.

Who are the aldermen and why are they described as "fat"?

Aldermen were senior members of a city or borough council — local government officials who participated in these ceremonial dinners. Referring to them as "fat" serves as a quick way to describe individuals who are comfortable, self-satisfied, and indulged in the privileges that come with their role. It's more of a caricature than an accurate depiction.

Why does the chair miss the Lord Mayor's head?

Because if it had struck him, the poem would turn into a story about an assault resulting in serious injury, and the humor would fall apart. The near-miss — "by the width of a hair" — keeps everyone safe, allowing the reader to laugh without feeling guilty. It also means the only real victims are a window and a bus, which are fair game.

What other poets write in a similar comic style?

W. S. Gilbert (from Gilbert and Sullivan) is the closest ancestor, sharing the same lively rhythm and satirical focus on pompous officials. Ogden Nash employs rhyme and absurdity in a comparable way in American poetry. G. K. Chesterton sometimes taps into this style as well. When it comes to nonsense verse, Edward Lear is the founding figure of the tradition that Noyes is referencing here.

Citation

Cite this poem

MLA

Noyes, Alfred. "The Man Who Discovered the Use of a Chair." 1922. Storgy, https://storgy.com/poems/the-man-who-discovered-the-use-of-a-chair-alfred-noyes/.

APA

Noyes, A. (1922). The man who discovered the use of a chair. Storgy. https://storgy.com/poems/the-man-who-discovered-the-use-of-a-chair-alfred-noyes/

TeacherAP Lit Q1 scaffold — preview

Row A — Thesis

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In Alfred Noyes's satirical poem 'The Man Who Discovered the Use of a Chair,' the speaker employs escalating absurdist comedy and the machinery of civic ritual to argue that modern public life rewards spectacular disruption over genuine …

  • Row B — Evidence + Commentary4 pts
  • Row C — Sophistication1 pt
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