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MONOLOGUE OF A MOTHER by D. H. Lawrence: Summary, Meaning & Analysis

D. H. Lawrence

A mother watches her grown son drift away and feels like she has nothing left to hold onto — not her son, not her husband, not even herself.

The poem
THIS is the last of all, this is the last! I must hold my hands, and turn my face to the fire, I must watch my dead days fusing together in dross, Shape after shape, and scene after scene from my past Fusing to one dead mass in the sinking fire Where the ash on the dying coals grows swiftly, like heavy moss. Strange he is, my son, whom I have awaited like a lover, Strange to me like a captive in a foreign country, haunting The confines and gazing out on the land where the wind is free; White and gaunt, with wistful eyes that hover Always on the distance, as if his soul were chaunting The monotonous weird of departure away from me. Like a strange white bird blown out of the frozen seas, Like a bird from the far north blown with a broken wing Into our sooty garden, he drags and beats From place to place perpetually, seeking release From me, from the hand of my love which creeps up, needing His happiness, whilst he in displeasure retreats. I must look away from him, for my faded eyes Like a cringing dog at his heels offend him now, Like a toothless hound pursuing him with my will, Till he chafes at my crouching persistence, and a sharp spark flies In my soul from under the sudden frown of his brow, As he blenches and turns away, and my heart stands still. This is the last, it will not be any more. All my life I have borne the burden of myself, All the long years of sitting in my husband's house, Never have I said to myself as he closed the door: "Now I am caught!--You are hopelessly lost, O Self, You are frightened with joy, my heart, like a frightened mouse." Three times have I offered myself, three times rejected. It will not be any more. No more, my son, my son! Never to know the glad freedom of obedience, since long ago The angel of childhood kissed me and went. I expected Another would take me,--and now, my son, O my son, I must sit awhile and wait, and never know The loss of myself, till death comes, who cannot fail. Death, in whose service is nothing of gladness, takes me; For the lips and the eyes of God are behind a veil. And the thought of the lipless voice of the Father shakes me With fear, and fills my eyes with the tears of desire, And my heart rebels with anguish as night draws nigher,

Public domain · sourced from Project Gutenberg

Quick summary
A mother watches her grown son drift away and feels like she has nothing left to hold onto — not her son, not her husband, not even herself. She reflects on a life spent waiting to give herself completely to someone, only to be rejected each time. Now, as she confronts old age, she sees death as the only certainty ahead.
Themes

Line-by-line

THIS is the last of all, this is the last! / I must hold my hands, and turn my face to the fire,
The mother opens with a sense of closure—she knows something is coming to an end. As she turns to the fire, it’s a gesture of acceptance: she watches her past memories turn to ash, one by one, like coals fading out. The mention of "dross" (the waste metal left after smelting) reveals that she views her life's experiences as having burned away into something worthless.
Strange he is, my son, whom I have awaited like a lover, / Strange to me like a captive in a foreign country, haunting
Here, Lawrence reveals the poem's main shock: the mother has waited for her son as if she were waiting for a romantic partner. She is open about it. On the other hand, the son feels trapped — he lingers at the periphery of her life, gazing toward the freedom of open space. The word "chaunting" (an old form of chanting) lends his longing to escape a sense of ritual and inevitability.
Like a strange white bird blown out of the frozen seas, / Like a bird from the far north blown with a broken wing
The son is likened to a wounded migratory bird that has been blown off course and landed in an unfamiliar place. He moves restlessly around the house — "drags and beats / From place to place" — not out of comfort but because he feels trapped. Her love is depicted as a hand that "creeps up," which creates a sense of unease: his need to escape from her dependence is palpable.
I must look away from him, for my faded eyes / Like a cringing dog at his heels offend him now,
The mother harshly critiques her self-image here. She likens herself to a toothless, submissive dog trailing after its owner — still loyal, still dependent, but unappealing. When her son frowns and looks away, it hits her like a spark igniting her soul. The phrase "my heart stands still" resonates with both emotional wreckage and a subtle hint of impending death.
This is the last, it will not be any more. / All my life I have borne the burden of myself,
This stanza steps back to reflect on her entire life. She has consistently viewed herself as a burden — especially to herself. The fantasy about her husband closing the door highlights what she never experienced: the joy of fully surrendering to someone, of being truly "caught" by love. That joy eluded her. The comparison to a "frightened mouse" is both tender and poignant — she longed to be enveloped by love, but it never materialized.
Three times have I offered myself, three times rejected. / It will not be any more. No more, my son, my son!
The number three holds significant biblical meaning—just consider Peter's three denials. She opened herself up to three people (most likely her parents, her husband, and her son) and was rejected each time. "The angel of childhood" kissed her and departed long ago, taking with it the chance for innocent, uncomplicated love. She had hoped her son would be the one to fully embrace her, but now that hope has vanished as well.
Death, in whose service is nothing of gladness, takes me; / For the lips and the eyes of God are behind a veil.
The poem concludes in a state of unresolved tension and discomfort. Death approaches, devoid of any joy—it is simply the one certainty that will not turn her away. God's presence remains shrouded, making divine love feel out of reach. The phrase "lipless voice of the Father" evokes a chilling image: a God who can communicate but cannot provide the affection and warmth she has longed for throughout her life. She finishes in despair, with darkness enveloping her.

Tone & mood

The tone is raw, confessional, and suffocating—in the best way. Lawrence offers the mother no ironic distance from her own feelings; she expresses exactly what she means, and what she means is uncomfortable. There is grief here, but also a fierce self-awareness: she recognizes that her love has become a trap for her son, and she understands she cannot stop it. The mood shifts steadily from resignation at the start to something resembling dread by the final lines, where even God feels cold and distant.

Symbols & metaphors

  • The dying fireThe fire the mother stares into symbolizes her life being reduced to useless remnants — "dross" refers to the waste produced after metal is smelted. Observing the ash accumulate over the coals is like witnessing her past turn to dust and fade away.
  • The wounded birdThe son is like a bird blown off course with a broken wing—alive but unable to fly free, feeling restless and out of place. This imagery reflects his suffering and highlights that he isn’t where he belongs, stuck in his mother's orbit.
  • The cringing dogThe mother's view of herself as a toothless, cringing hound trailing behind her son highlights her acute awareness of her own desperation. While she remains loyal and continues to chase after him, she realizes she has transformed into something that pushes him away instead of drawing him in.
  • The angel of childhoodThis figure captures the last time the mother experienced pure, uncomplicated love — back in her childhood. After that angel left, she spent the rest of her life searching for that sense of complete belonging, but she never found it.
  • The veil over God's faceGod's hidden face suggests that even divine love is absent from her. The "lipless voice" of the Father represents a God who can give commands but offers no comfort — the most extreme form of the rejection she has faced in all her human relationships.
  • The number three"Three times have I offered myself, three times rejected" resonates with the biblical theme of triple denial. It lends her suffering a ritualistic, almost predestined quality — suggesting that rejection has shaped her entire existence.

Historical context

Lawrence wrote this poem in the years leading up to World War One, a time when he was navigating his complicated relationship with his mother, Lydia. This relationship influenced nearly all of his work, notably the novel *Sons and Lovers* (1913), which explores similar themes: a mother who gives her son the affection she lacked from her husband, and a son who struggles to break free from her hold. After his mother passed away from cancer in 1910, Lawrence assisted in ending her suffering with a morphine overdose. The poems he composed around this time, gathered in *Amores* (1916), represent some of the most candid and unsettling examinations of maternal love in English poetry. What makes this poem stand out is that it allows the mother to express her own voice, rather than presenting her solely through her son's viewpoint.

FAQ

A mother observes her adult son distancing himself and feels powerless to stop it. As she thinks back, she realizes her life has been marked by a series of failures to fully give herself to anyone—her husband never evoked that sense of connection, and now her son is pushing her love away as well. The poem concludes with her facing death as the only certainty that will remain, refusing to turn her away.

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