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The Annotated Edition

SORROW by D. H. Lawrence

Summary, meaning, line-by-line analysis & FAQ.

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A speaker catches a whiff of cigarette smoke curling into the air, and it hits him with a wave of sorrow for his deceased mother.

Poet
D. H. Lawrence
Themes
family, memory, mortality
The PoemFull text

SORROW

D. H. Lawrence

WHY does the thin grey strand Floating up from the forgotten Cigarette between my fingers, Why does it trouble me? Ah, you will understand; When I carried my mother downstairs, A few times only, at the beginning Of her soft-foot malady, I should find, for a reprimand To my gaiety, a few long grey hairs On the breast of my coat; and one by one I let them float up the dark chimney.

Public domain

Sourced from Project Gutenberg

§01Quick summary

What this poem is about

A speaker catches a whiff of cigarette smoke curling into the air, and it hits him with a wave of sorrow for his deceased mother. The smoke brings back memories of carrying her while she was sick, discovering her grey hairs on his coat, which he let go of one by one up the chimney. It's a delicate, understated poem about how even the tiniest sensory detail can stir up a grief you believed you had tucked away.

§02Themes

Recurring themes

§03Line by line

Stanza by stanza, with notes

  1. WHY does the thin grey strand / Floating up from the forgotten

    Editor's note

    The poem starts in the middle of a thought, suggesting the speaker has been lost in his own world and is unexpectedly jolted back to reality. The cigarette has been left to burn down — "forgotten" — indicating that his mind was elsewhere. The "thin grey strand" of smoke prompts a reaction, even though he’s not yet sure why it disturbs him. The question "Why?" feels sincere; grief can hit us before we even understand it.

  2. Ah, you will understand; / When I carried my mother downstairs,

    Editor's note

    The "Ah" is a small yet significant word—it's that moment when everything clicks into place. The speaker looks to someone (a friend, a reader, or even himself) and starts to explain. Carrying his mother downstairs reveals that she was unwell and physically frail, unable to take care of herself. The intimacy of this act—a child carrying a parent—reverses the natural order and is filled with profound tenderness.

  3. I should find, for a reprimand / To my gaiety, a few long grey hairs

    Editor's note

    "Reprimand to my gaiety" captures the emotional essence of the poem. The speaker, still young, was able to feel joy even as his mother was dying, yet the grey hairs on his coat served as a subtle reminder of that sorrow — a quiet admonition against his happiness. He didn’t simply discard the hairs or brush them off thoughtlessly; instead, he allowed them to drift "one by one" up the dark chimney, creating a small personal ritual that also signifies a release. This chimney reflects the ascending cigarette smoke from the first stanza, bringing the imagery full circle.

§04Tone & mood

How this poem feels

The tone feels quiet and personal, resembling a softly spoken conversation in a still room. There are no cries or grand statements; instead, the grief is subdued and almost clinical, which intensifies its impact. Lawrence writes with the carefulness of someone who has revisited a painful memory repeatedly, fully aware of which details truly resonate.

§05Symbols & metaphors

Symbols & metaphors

The thin grey strand of smoke
The cigarette smoke acts as a sensory link between the present and the past. Its color and the way it spirals upwards remind the speaker of the grey hairs they once sent up the chimney. This is the kind of involuntary trigger that grief uses — not a grand symbol selected intentionally, but an accidental one that the subconscious picks up on before the conscious mind even realizes it.
The grey hairs
The mother’s grey hairs symbolize her age, fragility, and mortality. Discovering them on his coat creates an accidental closeness—physical proof of her presence that he carries with him from those moments of holding her. They also serve as a "reprimand," a term that adds a moral dimension: they remind the speaker that joy and grief were intertwined within him, which felt like a betrayal.
The dark chimney
The chimney is where the hairs vanish — rising into the darkness, never to be seen again. It serves as an informal altar or release point. Allowing the hairs to drift upward one by one turns a simple act into a small ceremony of mourning, a private farewell that unfolds with each visit.
Carrying the mother downstairs
This act of carrying a parent quietly flips the parent-child dynamic. It hints at the mother's decline without spelling it out, putting the speaker in a mix of tenderness and helplessness—close enough to catch her hair on his coat, yet powerless to change what’s happening to her.

§06Historical context

Historical context

D. H. Lawrence wrote "Sorrow" as part of his collection *Look! We Have Come Through!* (1917). The poem reflects the deep impact of his mother Lydia Lawrence's death in December 1910 — an event that profoundly affected him and influenced much of his early work. Lydia was a highly intelligent woman who encouraged Lawrence's pursuit of education and literature, leading to their famously intense bond. His novel *Sons and Lovers* (1913) offers a semi-autobiographical glimpse into that relationship. At the time of her death from cancer, Lawrence was in his mid-twenties and wrote several poems to process his grief. "Sorrow" stands out for its subtlety: it doesn't mention death, names, or dates. Instead, Lawrence relies on a singular sensory memory — smoke, grey hairs, a chimney — to convey the depth of his sorrow.

§07FAQ

Questions readers ask

It's about the grief he feels for his mother, sparked by watching cigarette smoke curl into the air. The smoke takes him back to when he released her grey hairs up a chimney while she was ill and he carried her downstairs. The poem highlights how a small sensory detail can suddenly bring all that loss rushing back.

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Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night — Dylan ThomasCrossing the Bar — Alfred, Lord TennysonGrief — Elizabeth Barrett BrowningOne Art — Elizabeth Bishop

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Themes in this poem

Poems about familyPoems about memoryPoems about mortalityPoems about sorrow