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Ben Apfelgarten by Eugene Field

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Ben Apfelgarten is a cheerful, bald German gentleman whose baldness makes him quite appealing to women and eventually earns him a spot in parliament.

Poet
Eugene Field
Core theme
Art
The PoemFull text

Ben Apfelgarten

Eugene Field

There was a certain gentleman, Ben Apfelgarten called, Who lived way off in Germany a many years ago, And he was very fortunate in being very bald And so was very happy he was so. He warbled all the day Such songs as only they Who are very, very circumspect and very happy may; The people wondered why, As the years went gliding by, They never heard him once complain or even heave a sigh! The women of the province fell in love with genial Ben, Till (may be you can fancy it) the dickens was to pay Among the callow students and the sober-minded men-- With the women-folk a-cuttin' up that way! Why, they gave him turbans red To adorn his hairless head, And knitted jaunty nightcaps to protect him when abed! In vain the rest demurred-- Not a single chiding word Those ladies deigned to tolerate--remonstrance was absurd! Things finally got into such a very dreadful way That the others (oh, how artful) formed the politic design To send him to the reichstag; so, one dull November day, They elected him a member from the Rhine! Then the other members said: "Gott im Himmel! what a head!" But they marvelled when his speeches they listened to or read; And presently they cried: "There must be heaps inside Of the smooth and shiny cranium his constituents deride!" Well, when at last he up 'nd died--long past his ninetieth year-- The strangest and the most lugubrious funeral he had, For women came in multitudes to weep upon his bier-- The men all wond'ring why on earth the women had gone mad! And this wonderment increased Till the sympathetic priest Inquired of those same ladies: "Why this fuss about deceased?" Whereupon were they appalled, For, as one, those women squalled: "We doted on deceased for being bald--bald--bald!" He was bald because his genius burnt that shock of hair away Which, elsewise, clogs one's keenness and activity of mind; And (barring present company, of course) I'm free to say That, after all, it's intellect that captures womankind. At any rate, since then (With a precedent in Ben), The women-folk have been in love with us bald-headed men!

Public domain

Sourced from Project Gutenberg

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§01Quick summary

What this poem is about

Ben Apfelgarten is a cheerful, bald German gentleman whose baldness makes him quite appealing to women and eventually earns him a spot in parliament. The poem traces his fortunate journey from a cherished local personality to a renowned politician, and finally to a beloved community icon, all thanks to his shiny head. The narrator concludes with a playful moral: it's not the hair that captures hearts, but the brains beneath.

§02Themes

Recurring themes

§03Line by line

Stanza by stanza, with notes

  1. There was a certain gentleman, Ben Apfelgarten called, / Who lived way off in Germany a many years ago,

    Editor's note

    Field opens like a storyteller getting comfortable in a chair — warm, relaxed, and almost whimsical in its rhythm. We’re introduced to Ben, a happy bald man who never complains, and right away, the poem makes it clear that his baldness is both the punchline and the main theme. The lively, musical meter establishes a humorous vibe right from the first line.

  2. The women of the province fell in love with genial Ben, / Till (may be you can fancy it) the dickens was to pay

    Editor's note

    Ben's baldness turns into a social scandal because the women in the province can't get enough of him, showering him with red turbans and knitted nightcaps. This leaves the men feeling jealous and confused. Field leans into the humor here — the nightcaps are such a wonderfully silly touch, a mix of endearing and downright absurd.

  3. Things finally got into such a very dreadful way / That the others (oh, how artful) formed the politic design

    Editor's note

    The jealous men attempt to resolve their issue by sending Ben off to parliament—a satirical dig at how political appointments often play out. The humor hits right away: their scheme backfires when Ben proves to be an exceptionally talented legislator. His peers shift from ridiculing his appearance to being impressed by his intellect.

  4. Well, when at last he up 'nd died--long past his ninetieth year-- / The strangest and the most lugubrious funeral he had,

    Editor's note

    Ben lives to a ripe old age and has a funeral filled with sobbing women, while the men stand around looking utterly bewildered. The word 'lugubrious' is a funny choice—it’s a weighty, sorrowful term thrown into a situation that is inherently ridiculous. The priest even has to directly ask the women why they're so distressed, and their response serves as the punchline of the poem.

  5. He was bald because his genius burnt that shock of hair away / Which, elsewise, clogs one's keenness and activity of mind;

    Editor's note

    The narrator steps forward to share the tongue-in-cheek moral: baldness indicates a fiery intellect, as genius supposedly burns the hair away. This pseudo-scientific claim is presented earnestly, which is part of the humor. The concluding lines transform the entire poem into an upbeat celebration of self-adoration directed at all the bald men in the audience.

§04Tone & mood

How this poem feels

Playful and self-deprecating, like a friendly pub story shared by someone who happily embraces being the butt of the joke. Field maintains a lively, music-hall bounce throughout — the rhymes are punchy, the humor wide-ranging, and the narrator's cheeky confidence stays strong. There's no real edge or darkness; it's all about the comic warmth.

§05Symbols & metaphors

Symbols & metaphors

Baldness
The poem’s central comic symbol serves as more than just a physical quirk. Field employs it to represent hidden genius — suggesting that what appears to be a deficiency is, in fact, a sign of something extraordinary simmering beneath the surface.
The nightcaps and turbans
The gifts that the women knit for Ben show their affection and devotion, but they also have an absurd twist — celebrating a bald head with headwear isn't something you see every day. These gifts suggest that Ben inspires a unique kind of love that transcends traditional notions of attractiveness.
The Reichstag seat
Parliament tries to neutralize an inconvenient outsider by bringing him into the fold. The irony is that this approach backfires — Ben flourishes in that environment, using their intentions against them.
The funeral crowd
The weeping women at Ben's funeral serve as a humorous exaggeration of grief, yet they also emphasize that his appeal was both genuine and enduring. The men's confusion in response to the scene highlights the poem's ongoing joke about the disconnect between men's perceptions of women's desires and the reality of what women truly want.

§06Form & structure

Form & structure

Meter
free verse
Rhyme
ABABCDCDDD ABABCDCDDD ABABCDCDDD ABABCDCDDD ABABCC

§07Historical context

Historical context

Eugene Field was an American journalist and poet in the late nineteenth century, widely recognized today for his children's poems like "Wynken, Blynken, and Nod." However, much of his work revolved around writing humorous verse for newspaper columns, with "Ben Apfelgarten" being a prime example. This poem fits into a genre of comic verse that was hugely popular in Victorian newspapers — lighthearted, musical, made for reading aloud, and intended to elicit laughs from a wide audience. The German backdrop and the name "Apfelgarten" (which translates to "apple garden" in German) lend the poem a fairy-tale quality that allows the absurdity to feel both safe and playful. Known for his wit and mischief, Field's humor shines through in the poem's closing lines, where the narrator humorously includes himself among the bald men that women are said to adore — showcasing his trademark self-aware, self-deprecating style.

§08FAQ

Questions readers ask

What is the poem actually about?

It's a humorous story about a bald German man named Ben Apfelgarten, who mysteriously becomes adored by all the women in his life, climbs the political ladder, and dies a celebrated figure. The narrator offers a tongue-in-cheek moral: baldness equals genius, and what women truly desire is genius. It's meant to be a joke, not a serious claim.

What does 'Gott im Himmel' mean and why is it in the poem?

'Gott im Himmel' translates to 'God in Heaven' in German and is used as an exclamation of surprise. Field throws it in when the parliament members first catch sight of Ben's bald head. This choice brings a humorous touch to the German context and highlights the characters' exaggerated shock in that moment.

What is the poem's rhyme scheme?

Each stanza has a clear structure: the first four lines rhyme in an ABAB pattern, while the following six lines create a tighter rhyme scheme (typically AAA or AABBB). This creates a lively, song-like rhythm that aligns beautifully with the comic tone.

Is there a serious message underneath the humor?

Lightly, yes. Field is joking about the notion that traditional good looks are the key to attractiveness or success. Ben charms people with his cheerful nature and real intelligence, rather than his looks. However, the poem doesn’t dwell on this — it prioritizes humor above all.

Why do the men send Ben to the Reichstag?

They want him gone because the women's fixation on him is creating social chaos. Their plan to send him to parliament is meant to take him out of the local picture. Ironically, Ben ends up becoming a celebrated politician, and the scheme totally backfires.

What does 'lugubrious' mean in the funeral stanza?

'Lugubrious' means mournful or overly gloomy. Field employs it for humor — it’s an overly dramatic word for a funeral that’s inherently absurd, with women lamenting over a bald man while perplexed men observe.

Who is the narrator talking to at the end?

The narrator appears to be speaking directly to an audience of fellow bald men, concluding the story with a lighthearted sense of reassurance. The phrase "barring present company, of course" adds a playful touch — it's a nod to the audience, as the narrator includes himself in the joke, suggesting that he also enjoys the benefits of Ben's legacy.

Is this poem meant for children?

No. Field wrote well-known children's poems, but this one is definitely aimed at adults. The humor surrounding women's romantic choices, jealous men, and political scheming would fly right over a child's head. It's the type of light verse typically found in newspaper columns meant for a general adult audience.

Citation

Cite this poem

MLA

Field, Eugene. "Ben Apfelgarten." Storgy, https://storgy.com/poems/ben-apfelgarten-eugene-field/.

APA

Field, E. (n.d.). Ben apfelgarten. Storgy. https://storgy.com/poems/ben-apfelgarten-eugene-field/

TeacherAP Lit Q1 scaffold — preview

Row A — Thesis

1 pt

Eugene Field's comic ballad 'Ben Apfelgarten' employs mock-heroic extravagance and a sardonic narrator to expose the absurdity of social vanity: by crowning a bald man with political office and erotic admiration, the poem argues that the …

  • Row B — Evidence + Commentary4 pts
  • Row C — Sophistication1 pt
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