CRASH!
Amy Lowell
"Oh, Lord, Martin! That shield is hash.
The whole street is covered with golden bees.
They look like so many yellow peas,
Lying there in the mud. I'd like to paint it.
'Plum pudding of Empire'. That's rather quaint, it
Might take with the Kings. Shall I try?" "Oh, Sir,
You distress me, you do." "Poor old Martin's purr!
But he hasn't a scratch in him, I know.
Now let us get back to the powders and patches.
Foolish man,
The Kings are here now. We must hit on a plan
To change all these titles as fast as we can.
'Bouquet Imperatrice'. Tut! Tut! Give me some ink--
'Bouquet de la Reine', what do you think?
Not the same receipt?
Now, Martin, put away your conceit.
Who will ever know?
'Extract of Nobility'--excellent, since most of them are killed."
"But, Monsieur Antoine--"
"You are self-willed,
Martin. You need a salve
For your conscience, do you?
Very well, we'll halve
The compliments, also the pastes and dentifrices;
Send some to the Kings, and some to the Empresses.
'Oil of Bitter Almonds'--the Empress Josephine can have that.
'Oil of Parma Violets' fits the other one pat."
Rap! Rap! Bang!
"What a hideous clatter!
Blaise seems determined to batter
That poor old turkey into bits,
And pound to jelly my excellent wits.
Come, come, Martin, you mustn't shirk.
'The night cometh soon'--etc. Don't jerk
Me up like that. 'Essence de la Valliere'--
That has a charmingly Bourbon air.
And, oh! Magnificent! Listen to this!--
'Vinaigre des Quatre Voleurs'. Nothing amiss
With that--England, Austria, Russia and Prussia!
Martin, you're a wonder,
Upheavals of continents can't keep you under."
"Monsieur Antoine, I am grieved indeed
At such levity. What France has gone through--"
"Very true, Martin, very true,
But never forget that a man must feed."
Pound! Pound! Thump!
Pound!
"Look here, in another minute Blaise will drop that bird on the ground."
Martin shrugs his shoulders. "Ah, well, what then?--"
Antoine, with a laugh: "I'll give you two sous for that antiquated hen."
The Imperial Eagle sells for two sous,
And the lilies go up.
A man must choose!