On the 14th Day of Christmas Edward Ahern gave to me… “I don’t like turkey.” Sarah made shushing noises. “Phil, it’s Christmas. Pretend it’s veal. Or pork.” “It tastes like greasy cardboard. I’ll tell my brother I’ve gone Vegan.” “They’ve been to your cookouts. They already know you scrape vegetables off your plate.” “Yeah, but
Tag: creature feature
On the 13th Day of Christmas Hannah Storm gave to me… Today my four-year-old found the Lord in his lunchbox. Tucked between the apple slices and the yoghurt tubes, Charlie might have missed the miracle, but fortunately for him and the future of faith, his form teacher Miss Angel was on hand. I had feared
“Hail Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners; now and at the hour of our Death. Amen.”Allen sighs with relief. Allen is a man. He is forty-something: Balding, gray at the temples, belly bloated from drinking light beer. It has half the calories, Allen reasons as he holds the fourth amber bottle to his
1. Exhaust fumes billowed out the back of the removal van parked in my new neighbor’s driveway. A girl of seven or eight years old hunkered next to the back wheel of the vehicle, sucking a few strands of her blonde curls. Her turquoise eyes darted left to right as she watched the movers, built
The bloody entrails tumble from the carcass like strings of misshapen sausages. Hayden guides them into a bucket on the stone floor, trying not to gag. Taking a shallow breath he reaches into the torso and cuts the last of the connective tissue with his scalpel. Gravity yanks the guts down into the overflowing bucket.
Guillermo del Toro is man out of time. You can imagine him working comfortably in the Universal backlots in the 1930’s, alongside James Whale, building lofty magnificent sets and packing them with incredible actors; producing heartfelt and beautiful creature features. His best films, The Devil’s Backbone, and Pan’s Labyrinth map fairy-tales to gory Spanish war